1. If you obtain a job by claiming to have lots of experience as a bartender, chef, etc. this is fraud and you probably shouldn't do it, because inevitably it will end up with your employer finding out somehow, defaming you in public, before taking your possessions, threatening you, and locking you in a closet or walk-in freezer for hours before the owner's wife lets you out. You will probably have pneumonia and health complications.
2. If you're planning to get married on Christmas day and your fiance gives you a wrapped package with a prenup inside... well, it probably won't be enforceable if you sign it, but it's not a great sign for the future of your marriage.
3. Nobody ever sues anybody until the day before the Statute of Limitations runs out. It's a rule.
4. All administrative judges are insane, probably hate you and never make written findings of fact (you'd think they'd get fired more often). Actually, judges generally hate you and think your opponent deserves to recover a lot. They'll probably say so to the jury during your trial. And the prosecutor... he thinks you're guilty and live in a brothel and he'll tell the jury as well.
5. If you're in a partnership of some sort, your partners will immediately go out, get drunk and run into somebody while on the job. They will also steal all your business opportunities and trade partnership services for the benefit of your relatives. Never be in a partnership.
6. The first thing a tenant will do upon moving in is to bolt a bunch of things to the wall and cieling (don't worry, they'll rip them out before moving) and possibly black out the windows, concrete up all the plumbing and release their hordes of rats. Landlords will regularly enter the property and steal. If something goes wrong with the apartment, tenants will never notify landlords until the situation gets waaay worse, and when they do landlords will never fix it. Never rent.
7. If you enter into a land-sale contract, be aware that probably the property has been adversely possessed, your seller is going to execute some weird deed that only gives you a life estate, and somewhere along the lines the place will burn to the ground. Never buy property either.
8. If you ever write a check, somebody will either indorse and then lose it or add a few thousand dollars to the amount.
9. Any time a seller ships goods via truck to another merchant, this truck will explode, crash, or vanish somewhere between point A to B.
10. Don't take drugs: they are always tainted and either you or your underage girlfriend/cousin/friend will die and if you don't die you'll get really mad and go out and light somebody's car on fire, which will make them angry and suddenly they'll be assaulting you and trust me, when you get arrested and ask for your lawyer, you are not going to do it unambiguously enough to actually trigger your right to counsel (and remember: your judge and the prosecutor already hate you and all your jurors have photos of you that they found hacking your web page)
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