Beauty versus function: In Two Acts

ACT I: 

I have of course acquired a new student i.d. It is very nice. Same picture. The bus pass sticker is shinier than it used to be. There isn't a mushy accumulation of stickers of antiquity glumming up the front and detracting from my stunning - and slightly stunned (it was the first day of law school, after all) - face. Beautiful, but in rather post-modernist fashion - totally useless.

Despite looking like my card, my new card is heavily lacking in the "access" part of things as a deft swipe results with a moody series of beeps and red lights from the card readerS EVERYWHERE. This is not the first time a card change has prompted full out chaos in my life, but it's a fair bit more annoying since my office is behind card-swipe-requiring doors. Also, the previous experience is a bit disheartening as nobody knew why I was having this problem and it only randomly seemed to evaporate and right itself at the beginning of the school year when I imagine old records were wiped and the security system upgraded. I spent far too much time shuttling between security and card services - all the while being told that the problem wasn't on there end - before giving up. Well, one more month, right? No, I've talked to card services and then to the building coordinator (deja vu) and the report is that it should be working soon... but might not be up yet. So there's hope. Faint hope, but hope.

ACT II:

Anyways, on a totally unrelated note, I was (surprise, surprise) at a mountain bike race yesterday and I found what has to be my favorite uniform design for a racing team so far. Early in our relationship Andrew tried to entice me into coming to races by promising fit men in spandex..

.... I have to admit, I don't actually think that cycling team kits are really my style aesthetically speaking. I mean, yes, they're tight and have padded buts, which is kind of awesome, and I'll add that the pockets they have in the back are kind of handy enough that I wonder more shirts don't use these (I suspect the answer is: "sitting")... Ultimately, though they're rather obstreperously functional ensembles, especially with the inevitable helmets, and I feel that the uniformity (har har, cuz they're uniforms, usually) mixed with the gearishness dehumanizes the look quite a bit. And the bike shorts just flash me back to the more nefarious fashion crimes of my childhood, perhaps involving unitards and "bike shorts" with baggy sweaters.

 In hindsight, he might have wanted to have played up the "lots of fairly in shape guys changing without shame in the parking lot aspect," although considering the age groups and wide variety of physical types that take to cycle-racing, he actually could've stuck with "I will be half naked in a parking lot" and called it good. But I digress.

My real aesthetic objection to team kits, isn't so much the fit (it's not usually the most flattering of cuts for most body types, but I accept it because it just makes so much sense for the biking itself), as it is the design, which leaves much to be desired. Distinctiveness, for one. Once you add the helmets and hunch somebody over a bike, it is incredibly difficult to tell cyclists apart, but because the teams seem to design their uniforms with the goal of complete homogeneity, it's also incredibly difficult to tell different teams apart other than "team with mostly red jerseys" (about 1/3 of the field), "team with mostly medium to light blue jerseys and white" (roughly 1/2)... There are some exceptions of which I approve. The Group Health kit has a soothing blueish green and yellow that set them apart, for instance. 

There's also one team that is predominately orange, which is not necessarily attractive, but is at least easily distinguishable. But even still, there's something about the linearity of the color blocks that I just don't like. I suppose the problem has to do with a blend of wanting a sleek professional look and having to incorporate the names of the fifty odd "sponsors" who let team members have a handful of free crappy energy bars or bike parts in exchange for displaying their name on cyclists' bodies. It is definitely a design challenge and one which I feel is usually lost. 

But this weekend, I found a design that really does it for me:

Especially the star socks. The green stars and stripy sleeves have this nice retro, kind of my childhood in the 80's vibe that probably really draws me in - probably because it makes me think of a Rainbow Brite costume, but updated to the black and green screen aesthetic of old computer programs everywhere - and the combination of green, blue and orange with that POP of pink is surprisingly complementary in my mind. The asymmetry of the sleeves and the green on the bottom of the jersey also draws my eye. The lining around the butt isn't necessarily my favorite - makes me think of chaps or something - but even still the color pops a little bit from the ordinary. I'm particularly wild about the details on the side seams (you can see it under the arm of the woman on the right. It just feels like somebody actually had fun and drained off some creative juices with these babies And, as I've said, they're noticeable and identifiable from a distance. 

In the words of Miss Heidi Klum: random team kit, you're in!

However, I would pair the outfit with slightly more interesting shoes:

Why don't they make these in my size????