Buy this prince some jeans

So one of the major themes of classical ballet is that men can't keep it in their pants and usually this causes trouble for the heroine, who more often than not ends up dying and possibly doing some incredibly self-sacrificing things post or pre-death just to prove her point. Sometimes a man can't keep it in his pants and the clever girl thoroughly tricks and mocks him until he realizes he loves her... or maybe he's roving around and stumbles on an unconscious woman whose sole revival relies on his not keeping it in his pants in which case everything ends much more happily. But regardless, I can't help but think maybe the real problem ... the challenge for all these conflicts  is the men aren't wearing pants!!!! You can't really keep it in your pants if you don't have any. I'm not entirely sure that these men (ok, princes aren't they usually?) didn't just find an extra large Trojan Magnum, stretched it over their lower bodies and called it good:

Here the prince betrays his love because he apparently "got confused" and "thought Odile was Odette" which totally makes sense. I mean we saw him running around trying to figure out which swan maiden was his lady during the earlier scene, so we know he's not exactly too clever. But you'll also notice: 1. no pants. None. Hello junk.  2. Even though she's the evil slutty girl, even Odile's outfit screams he's not getting any... yeah she isn't wearing pants either, but trust me there's a leotard over her tights and then a big huge spiky perimeter between her and Mr. No-pants. Women don't stray nearly as often as men and I'm guessing wardrobe may have a huge part of that in the classical ballet world.

Anyways, Andrew and I saw Swan Lake last weekend, which was a wonderful experience for me because it is one of my favorites and I had never seen it live. Of course "favorite" often can pile incredible demands on a performance and I imagine it's hard to live up to those expectations. It was a performance by the Moscow ballet, which definitely upped the ante. I will say the dancer who played the swan was immaculate. The jester in the opening party scene was pretty fantasticl. I will also say that the corps was incredibly synchronized and that was quite impressive. It was the classic choreography, so we both recognized portions from various classes we'd had in the past, which was eerily fun for me.

The ballet was pretty clearly a made-for-tour production and tartly efficient about transitions, beginings and ends. This mean canned music, which loses a lot from the in-house orchestral performances, particularly because the speakers were not great. It also meant the damned thing finished in under two hours - unheard of!

Also, they happied up the ending (or so we think - there was no synopsis or cast list or other form of relevant program material and sometimes it's hard to guess what's going on with all the leaping and lifting) and neither of them died! Maybe I've just been raised on too much opera, but when lovers get off easy like that, it just makes me feel cheated. I mean it's one thing to commit suicide and be reunited in heaven... (or oblivion if you're Wagner...), but just to vanquish evil and apologize for the little misunderstanding and then go on from there... just kind of leaves me feeling like the scene at the end of The Graduate where they're on the bus riding away from her wedding enduring an awkward silence. Especially compared to the fairly MAJOR emotional thrust of Matthew Bourne's version (the all male and psychologically complex version, which is hauntingly superb and which is the last production I watched on video)

And considering some of the music just DRIPS with pathos of yearning and longing, it seems really anticlimactic to deny that emotional catharsis.

Nonetheless it was a fun experience, even though I think I may enjoy some of the PNB repertory experiences more for their creativity, novelty, and ease of pace. It meant a really delightful first snow of the season in Bellingham (the production was at the MBT) and being there for my mom's fourth chemo treatment (two more to go!). Of course we came back to Seattle in chaos, three straight snow days and virtual isolation at the top of my pristine skating rinks - Capitol Hill.... but I guess the solitude is good preparation for Thanksgiving day shenanigans in San Francisco!