Baby it's cold outside... Long underwear, I don't need no stinkin' long underwear!

And this brings out the fashion bug within (or maybe it's a fashion arachnid - I get these confused sometimes). Used to be - back in my eastcoaster days - that I'd just wear a pair of tights, a pair of pj bottoms and one or two pairs of pants (plus shirts - I only go topless on clement days), then pile on the coats and scarfs until I was about twice as wide and had about two inches of skin showing behind some glasses to steel myself for the icy trek to work. As I no longer live in the seasonal equivalent of the north pole, I've a much more anemic cold-weather wardrobe. As such, when it gets below freezing, I just get more and more stylish underneath a crusty exterior of dull every-day clothing. Today's under-ensemble (to be hidden under a pair of pants and a few shirts plus coat/scarf/etc.):

Very high-fashion, I know. And yes, I could see this ensemble staggering down the runway in the next few years. Except I'd need an **enormous** fur hat (preferrably in purple and gold with those ear covers and big puffy tassles) and I'd be wearing six inch lime green stilettos. I would also be strewn with a furry orange scarf and some kind of massive work gloves (to add edge, maybe like a hockey goalie mitt on one hand). I think of this and I brim over with pride. Then I remember I still have to go outside...