Amen.
Second fall is here! You know the nice part of fall where leaves are all colorful and the sun is crisp and clear and you can just mainline pumpkin spice by looking at the sky? This is no longer that part. This is the nonstop dark and rainy that makes me build altars to my full spectrum light. That said, I actually really enjoy this time of year. It feels beyond cozy and not quite amped up to the full holidaze mania that's coming up next. Just an excuse to stay home and skip that playdate, while watching the leaves flutter past on the wind.
Home...
... home possible FOREVER!
Yes, it's Veteran's Day, which has been a marked holiday for some time. A little inconvenient that it's on a Thursday this year. Apparently everyone else thought so too. On Tuesday, Seattle Public Schools sent out a notice that there weren't enough teachers to keep school open on Friday the 12th. Too many vacation requests on top of a substitute shortage. Cue sturm und drang and major kvetching on all ends. Honestly I think it's pretty expected and they should have just planned for it to start, but such is life. It complements this very strange week that we already had Tuesday off. This is something I discovered on Monday afternoon: I went to pick Allan up and was greeted with a hastily printed off sheet of paper
"Remote" in our case meant "the teacher packed some extra books in Allan's pack and then wrote me an email saying that the iPads weren't ready and not to sweat it anyways, because ... Kindergartener, duh. We did in fact read all of her books and draw several pictures describing her day as requested.
We also spent a decent amount of time at the park, listening to podcasts, doing crafts... it was a good full day. And one that ended in a total Allansplosion of wild boundary testing oppositional howling just around dinnertime. So apparently vacations are fun now!
Today, I have already requested a post-dinnertime break. Since I am allergic to the outside world, I'm going to try just locking myself up in my room with a computer and a good movie and letting Andrew play interference. I'm kind of hoping it'll work so I can make it into a weekly thing. Mama needs a break!
Especially with another day off coming. But we'll keep busy... It's going to rain a couple inches today, so probably lots of crafts and maybe I'll start chasing her around the house to get some energy burned off...
...Maybe do a little homework, Allan style. Yeah, the homework is minimal, but I still kind of roll my eyes at the idea of homework for kindy. I think it's more just a placeholder to train the parents how to nag and cajole and bribe. I'm plunging headfirst into all these tactics, though my main approach is to try to just lean into her creative side. She will do almost anything if it can be turned into a story. And she must -absolutely must - put her spin on every assignment.
And I'm not going to say that I've avoided sheer bribery.
I mean in fairness those were her Halloween M&Ms and she was going to eat the regardless. It's just more fun when it's part of an elaborate game that ends with homework also being done.
My brain is exhausted. But what else is new.
But yes, Halloween! Best holiday ever. At least best holiday of the mid-autumnal region in the pretty darned white areas of the United States (sorry Veteran's Day, I am not loving you right at the moment)
Allan loves Halloween because DUH. Candy! Costumes! What's not to love. We love it too. Whether or not our costumes actually read (I really needed to get the full bowl haircut and I chickened out) Andrew and I dusted off our Bill and Ted costumes from this summer and got excellent.
Allan actually squeezed into her monarch butterfly costume for the third subsequent year. There will be a new version next year (there's talk of actually going for a new theme and being a BUNNY finally). But I'm impressed it made it this long.
It was an interesting vibe this year. Far less lively than last year's covid-defying-celebration. It felt like far fewer houses participated but the ones that did participated very intentionally and full of spirit! You could spot the trickertreat houses from a far distance, as they were all festooned with whimsically ghoulish decor and plenty of orange lights. The candy ran fasta and deep. While we went to far fewer houses overall, Allan scored big. Everyone was handing out fistfuls. It was ... almost a lazy Halloween in that regard even though we definitely scoured the neighborhood to find the Halloween houses.
There were not a ton of trick-or-treaters out and about compared to the year before.
We kept running into the same roving groups of kids. One of the groups included a kiddo from Allan's class. He kept waving and yelling ALLAN ever single time we passed each other. Eventually the novelty wore down and it was more of an awkward "you again?" nod. But still pretty cute.
And a darned good haul. Allan's been parcelling out her candy between lunch (which she's been packing for herself recently) and dessert. I'll say she's actually been fairly moderate about her candy binging and only just exhausted it after rejecting the final dregs of lollipops and lemon drops.
And like that, it's November! And just like that, the little gremlin is elligible for a covid shot! Scheduled even! Holy vaccines, Batman! This. Is. Huge. I mean I know that the risk to unvaccinated young children is lower than to vaccinated seventy year olds, but that makes minimal visceral sense to me.
And until Allan's been fully vaccinated, we've been just as happy to be cautious. I imagine honestly there will still be some caution afterwards, but between the pediatric shot and the new antiviral Pfizer is promising, this feels (maybe deja vu here) like we're nearing the transition from pandemic to endemic.
Which, honestly, a tad daunting. To me. I mean. I'm excited for everyone else, but I've been hiding what a pain in the butt limitation these allergies have been behind the pandemic precautions. Keeping everything outside, limiting groups, and all the emphasis on fresh air, anyways. It's going to be a lot to figure out when the world gets going again.
People can't quite wrap their heads around the extensiveness of isothiazolinone allergies. It's not just whether I directly touch something with it. It's if a place has been cleaned/painted/carpeted/glued/etc in the last month to six months. Whether somebody was wearing perfume or used 99% of all personal care products a few days ago and it's still on their clothes (trust me, y'all have no idea how much your smell all the time haha). Whether Allan used hand sanitizer at school and then started playing with her hair. Let's not even talk abotu getting into anyone else's cars, using anyone else's bathrooms, or just sitting in the average lobby.
We went to the ballet yesterday (it was incredible - I'm really glad I got to go regardless). By the end I was feeling mildly hivey and my throat felt swollen, so I watched the final piece from the lobby. Still more reactive for the next few days and into the itchy contact rash now. I can only guess it was related to various people's perfumes or something they were cleaning with (probably somebody's perfume since I was fine when I went to the opera in the same place last month). I knew this was a possiblity when we subscribed and decided if it was as problem I'd just watch in the lobby. This worked out fine. It's a nice lobby, but it feels funny to pay however much for a ticket, get dressed up, and then watch on a screen.
Andrew suggested maybe next year we could invest in a really good big screen tv and a digital subscription. That he thought of this warms my li'l cockles, though I still want him to be able to go to enjoy live shows sometimes.
It's funny. When I explain my limitations (can't drink, can't travel, can't eat most of what people love, can't congregate, dicey being in public spaces or having new people in my spaces, can't be touched too hard or too long, can't pet the cat or sit too close to her... etc ... and allergic to the outdoors during spring just for fun) to new people it sounds pretty awful. Heck I remember a few years ago swearing I'd rather throw myself into the fire than give up gluten, and haha I'm allergic to wheat! But hedonic adjustment is interesting. I seem to get a lot of joy in my daily existence. Not to get all Pollyanna, I'm a raging rush of all the feels and a lot of stress, but ultimately the anxiety I sit with is not hugely different than from other times of my life.
There's just so much that gives me the feels. The beauty of where we live. Listening to music. Dancing in the kitchen. Singing online or just around the house. Playing with Allan. Prayer/meditation (when I do it). Watching shows. Playing with duolingo. Reading and writing. Drawing. Talking with my friends online/video. Sweet potatoes and squash. Snuggling in the mornings, taking walks together, talking, playing. Joking... Kumbaya mothafudger, life is flippin' beautiful!!
Aaaaaand I still feel like a pain in the ass for my close friends. Aaaaand it definitely puts a huge crimp on making new connections, especially now that it's getting dark and cold out. Covid lockdown was nice in a way because we all adapted to this way of life together. I was ahead of the curve! And I miss travelling. It was so invigorating to rediscover that shortly before the world shut down and my body went into hyperdrive.
In other words: going through processes to get on some kind of biologic to mix it all up and give me a little more range again. There are a few out there already (hard to get and with side effects of course, but I'm down with the adventure!), some tasty immune suppressants for the post covid freakout times, and some in testing at the moment. But for a while, I'm just as happy to sneak in a staycation while the rest of the family plans their vacations.
Today, though, it's a good day to stay in our little ivory tower anyways. So we carry on with pomp, circumstance and PLENTY of crafts. (We now have so many craft boxes that if Allan is gone on the weekend, things start to fall behind. It's a nonstop crafting workshop here. She'll grow up to hate glue sticks and blanche at tissue paper no doubt.)
Happy holiday-lite to one and all. Brace yourself: Thanksgiving is coming.
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