Lockdown Logs: I'm Your Lemonade...

Wow happy May then! 

A year ago I was chilling in Washington D.C. on the first of what I hoped to be many adventures out of mommy-mode. And I'd say, ultimately, I got a good run out of that year. Two trips to Massachusetts, a trip to Arizona, an overnight in Connecticut, a trip to D.C. and at least a day in New Jersey all by my lonesome. 

Might be a while before Chaya and I have that kind of distance again. But hey, sometimes she and Andrew go out on a run together and leave the home to me. 

Here in Washington, Coach Jay let us know we'll all be staying at home for at least another month. Really another two probably. And, heck, if Andrew worked for Amazon, possibly until October.

Washington will "reopen" in planned phases based on a bunch of considerations. I'm happy enough to move cautiously. Let's watch all the other more eager states try and experiment with their reopening plans and go from there. Still hoping we reach "Phase Two" by mid-June. Because we're gonna need my mom to watch Chaya during that move!

 We're set to close on our fancy new West Seattle place in a couple of weeks. Our lease here doesn't expire until July, so we are getting air conditioning in all applicable rooms GAW darnit! This will be our first fun foray into dealing with our new HOA, since that will require approval. Building the ginormous covid free personal play structure may follow suit quickly. This is very much a thing to me at this point.

 Hopefully won't be a big deal, but it's gotta be done. The current fire forecasts predict a decent chance of heat waves and forest fires in July and August. Perfect, yeah? We'll finally have opened up a teensy bit from the Covids and then the entire state will set aflame. Back into the house we go! But hey... we'll be prepared this time with legit air conditioning and hopefully a lot more junk to keep Chaya busy.

We're pros at this stuck-at-home stuff by now.

I admit I've fallen into a bit of a less connected normal. We don't video call people quite as often and they are less available when we do. Internet connections on video chats can be a pain, and it's hard to get kids to sit still long enough to meaningfully interact. Our virtual dinner rotation list has shortened a bit. Life falls into its rhythms. We still have had a few video dinners. Andrew's mom reads bedtime stories to Chaya a few times a week. And my mom... well

We're all lemonades here. We had been trying to have dinner together on Tuesdays, but the internet has been terrible in the evenings recently. During our last dinner, they couldn't hear us. And our connection was so bad on wifi, that I took us off wifi and called on my phone. So they heard nothing from us and mostly got to see Chaya playing with the messenger filters. Adding an extra special child touch, Chaya needed to poop halfway through and wouldn't go unless we brought the camera so... not very dinner friendly but the filters obscured a lot of the business. It was a surreal dining experience with Chaya mostly turning herself into various creatures and beverages, and singing little songs that only we could hear "I'm your lemonade. I'm your lemonade. I loooooooove you. I'm your lemonade!"

So now we're just sticking with filter play time. Gramma Pam makes a dapper alien and a  truly spectacular foot! But it's the "marshmallow hair" that really gets us going.

In Chaya playland, we're still animals. She's often my animal mommy and takes me through the same routines I take her through.

And, school?

Well not only did we bring home some fun packets, some fixings for a crown, and Chaya's first pair of real scissors this week....This week, Chaya had her very first zoom online class session! They are not heavily represented in the preschool calendar, being only one day every two weeks for a total of three all together. But they are megaloaded adorable cuteness. No funny filters needed.

Bonus that because it's all virtual, Chaya cannot actually throw things, hit or otherwise threaten other students or the teacher...

Kids got to have show and tell where they could share anything they wanted. One kid shared their dog. Another kid shared this cool lego thing they built with their dad.

Chaya shared... her balloon. Her green balloon. Not the blue balloon. Not the white balloon. Not the yellow balloon. Definitely not the pink balloon with the party hat.Not the red balloon that she took with her cycling on Saturday. Not the other blue balloon that has Chaya written on it and a party princess hat taped to its head. No, the green balloon and only the green balloon.

The kids yelled HI (and all manner of other things) to each other. They did their show and tell. The teacher read to them. They played a little activity game together. Chaya alternated between watching shyly and yelling out at random. So, all very similar to real life. And then - about fourteen minutes in - it all devolved into chaos. Children running every which way. Siblings barging in. Screens going on and off. Party time all in all. Glad we have a few more of these. They help to take the edge off.

We are still in a holding pattern trying to decide what Chaya education/childcare will look like next year. A few options: (1) nothing. The virus is big and scary. Next year will be a mess. We'll wait it out. (2) find a preschool in West Seattle, except that's kind of hard when schools usually start enrolling in February but not this year and no schools are open for visits and tours and the like... (3) Join the grand experiment with public school, except Chaya probably isn't super ready for Kindergarten to begin with and it's going to be a mess next year regardless. I don't think it's sanitary for Chaya to be biting teachers in this brave new world.

We just took her out of the summer camps at her current preschool because of the uncertainty and the fact we'll have moved by then.

At this point, the move is our big summer plan. We had plenty of summer plans beforehand (tons), but I'm not holding my breath... for one in this mask I tend to feel a little oxygen starved as it is.

Oh yep, we got plenty of masks. And they're cute. And... I kinda hate them.

I'll wear a mask because it makes intuitive sense that it should help reduce the risk to others, and, well, "every little bit," but... it's kind of frustrating that there isn't much evidence to support the practice. We do know it helps in clinical situations if respirators or even surgical masks are worn. So, good. I was happy to see my doctors all wearing KN-95 masks when I visited the clinic, for sure.

 But the in-public cloth kind for this particular virus seems to be a pretty big shrug. Catches the respiratory droplets probably. We don't fully know how covid-10 transmits. We don't know what the infectious dose is. How well masks do with that. Are the particles too small. Does it make it worse even?  There are efficacy studies for different materials I know. For bigger particles than SARS covid-2 usually. I still don't have a good confident sense that they do much. I mean the studies people are relying on end with conclusions like this: Our findings suggest that a homemade mask should only be considered as a last resort to prevent droplet transmission from infected individuals, but it would be better than no protection.

Epidemiologists are very careful with their words. They don't say much. Luckily, a lot of people on the internet have opinions. Coffee filter. Definitely. Copper one? Sure! Or maybe a used coffee filter with coffee already in it. Cut up your vacuum bag. Taffeta on velvet with teabags as filters.

Tape a pantiliner inside your mask (no kidding). This material. That material. If I just tape a giant HEPA furnace filter over my face and then tape plastic lenses over my eyes (totally sealed)... We'll be ok! If we just torture ourselves enough God will keep us safe! If I am passed out because I can't breath, I will be unable to spread the virus! All anyone knows for sure is that if you don't wear a mask, now, you're a jerk - no a witch. You are a selfish asswipe who should be banished to Siberia. Which is a fun turnabout from a few months ago where we all wanted to wear masks but knew to be scornful of anyone who attempted to do so while not being sufficiently  from-an-Asian-country-where-that's-standard.

It sometimes makes me feel like it's more of a symbolic community messaging feature than a heavy public health intervention. Yet I care very very much if Andrew's coworkers were all wearings masks when he was there and put them all in little baggies to have on hand "just in case" at all times... because masks.

I'm having a hard time imagining going on a plane flight longer than a few hours with a mask on. An environment that already reduces the oxygen levels in your blood and dehydrates you. Where you now also can't eat or drink anything. Until it becomes relevant,  I'm constructing an alternate fantasy reality in which covid-19 tests are so cheap, everyone can take one at the airport and negatives get to fly. Which, frankly, would make me feel a ton safer. So future flights I'll just get my own oxygen mask?? Hazmat suit to get the eyes too?

 Maybe we all need custom fitted respirators with filtered release valves and a built in drink straw and/snack delivery straw. Aromatherapy optional. Shark Tank, I'm coming for ya!

***

Speaking of moments where I got to wear a mask... 

Adella's Weird Health issues: Plague Time edition. 

I feel unenthused to gripe about my health in this post covid world. For a few reasons. 

One, after your fiftieth article about The Ultramarathoning Neuroscientist Firefighter Who Felt Fine Until Her Lungs Popped Out of Her Ear, Cuz Covid... complaining about how your allergies made you itchy and your tummy hurts feels like it lacks perspective.

Two, in this hyper hypochondriac era, I am aware any complaints could hit as overly worrisome. Because seriously, every symptom means covid-19 and, well, did you hear about the Ultramathoning Neuroscientist Firefighter?? Her first symptom was itchy eyes on a high pollen day!!! 

At any rate, my reflux has been worse again since the steroids in February and progressively more so in the last month. And my stomach has been off for about three weeks. As an anxious person with a history of IBS symptoms and a family history of diagnosed IBS in a stressful situation, this is not surprising, but it's been wearing on me. I got a little dehydrated and underfed for a few weeks, which didn't help me feel great. So I went to the doctor last week and got some bloodwork done (And yeah, I'm negative for covid-19 antibodies because of course I was gonna take that test if offered). Significantly less terrifying than the grocery store, I will say. So that was fun. Elevated white count, just a little. Color me not-shocked. So we'll see.

On the bright side, I've been doing tele-health appointments with a PT the last couple of weeks, and so far it is helping. The biggest challenge is always dialing in the "helpful pain" and "oooh heck no that was not good" pain. So far, I've mostly managed to stay on the "push just a little to get stronger" track. I'm hoping that's a continuing thing. Getting back to walking to the mailbox is a nice little something anyways. As I say this, I'm having a worse pain day and always worried it's another back-to-square-one moment. But gotta keep strong. 

Chaya has lifted her hands and said "here, have a new leg" or "I fixed your knee!" several times. She says it with such sincerity I kind of assume she knows what's up. But I feel like I let her down when I then end up limping along anyways.

But, I'm kinda still alive. And Chaya is keeping me active:

"Can you pretend to be a pooping dog on the grass?"
"Can you pick up the poop with your robot?"

"The virus got away from all the beeping. The virus came but then it left because it doesn't like to play with people with masks. The virus is going to leave the playground now. Mommy, mommy, the virus left the playground because of the masks!!! And when I see the virus I will say the secret and it will stop. The secret is shhhhhhh run away shhhhhh. Let's go swinging! I gave you new legs!! Can you say that I'm a badger?"

And on we go.