tl;dr: There was a child. She was adorable and crazy. I thought a lot. About a lot. The theme of my/our year was reconnection. It wouldn't seem that way at first, as it's ended us off in new lands with new adventures having said a ton of goodbyes, but the adventures had to come second to the reconnection. Chaya being born changed everything. For our marriage. For what it meant to be living in one place or another. For what work meant to both of us. For my poor body's capacities, and thus my entire sense of self as various defining activities were scratched off the can-do list. 2019 was like "yeah ok, knocking over all the towers was good fun, but... let's build some with the rubble yeah? Can we have fountains?? And park play cars in it. Maybe a few dinosaurs."
And here we are.
In Renton. For now. But King county for sureish for the longer haul. Andrew is bound by all kinds of weird secrecy contracts from telling my anything juicy about his job (99% of which I would never have understood anyways), but I saw a rocket of Blue Origin's shoot into outer space and land again. AND I have this kicking blue hoodie. Which seriously, it the best swag ever. If Andrew had just told me in 2016, that awesome hoodies were on the table...
I actually had a resolution for 2019: to be more open to the love and opportunities offered me in whatever form they came. I had it broken down in more specifics of varying clarity, but let's say it yielded results and I decidedly thawed several frozen up spaces.
I don't have any specific resolutions for 2020 but well we've got our goals.
New car checked off the list.
So, my Nissan Versa Note was adorable. Very simple car. Almost no electronics to be seen in the whole venture. Might as well have been made from paleolithic cave drawings. I liked it, but I think we all understood that the backseat was horribly uncomfortable (which is a problem when Chaya is mandated by law to stay back there, and the non-driving parent is mandated by Chayalaw to keep her company back there). And Andrew didn't like driving it. Meanwhile, his car isn't that comfy in the back either. It's a lot of fun to drive, but I'm terrified of hurting it in some way (and he shares the fear that I might) so he does most of the driving in a car that isn't super comfy to ride in.
I am bad at buying large ticket items.That is an understatement. I mostly just avoid doing it. I get overwhelmed at choice. I hate haggling and all those superficial social interactions meant to bury the mercenary competitive nature of the bargaining. If there were a self-checkout aisle for cars, I'd pretty much grab the first car that's on sale and head there, but until then... There's a reason I keep my cars until they're basically totalled. Just the thought of it can spike my blood pressure and end me up huddling in a corner of a locked room.
Andrew, however, is very good at it. He doesn't go in for all the games or anything. He doesn't enjoy the chase per se. But he does his research (and then some!!), doesn't really get flustered or bothered by salesman voodoo, and is very willing to put in the foot traffic involved in walking and shopping offers.
So... we got a family car yesterday.
Andrew had already had my Nissan appraised and checked out a few cars at CarMax as a baseline. We all went to a dealer in Auburn on Saturday morning. They had a newer model for a decent listing price. According to the internet anyways The salesman was very nice. Elderly gentleman. A little confused about which cars had which features, but a comfortable soft sell.
There are many varieties of Honda Accord. You think you've narrowed it down to a digestible list, but then you go to a Honda dealer and realize there are hundreds of variations. Years. Trims. Makes. Moods. Temperaments. Past lives. Let's not even talk about color.
After some discussion wandering around the lot aimlessly, we test drove a car that felt more like a space ship.
Buttons! Everything was buttons! Cameras everywhere. The car basically drives itself while brewing you espresso and teaching you French. It was nice.
I had fun. I didn't feel grown up or professional enough for this car, but... hey... anything for my daughter's comfort.
Then the icky part. The price is never the price Yeah the internet and the sticker price are different. Let me explain that in confounding detail. But you have to understand... there's not a lot of margin on used cars you know.
What can we do to get you into this car today? I mean other than accept the offer you just made and which me and my manager had to discuss for roughly an eon.
No, we're close. We're so close. We just need to talk. Nevermind your four yer old giddy monster has started smoking at the ears and is maniacally shrieking while gnawing her mommy's leg. Forget that she's foaming at the mouth as her head spins 360 degrees. We just need to talk a little more. Do you like pina coladas and long walks on the beach? What did you want to be when you grew up? Do you believe in magic?
We... walked. With contact info. They did call back a few times yesterday but honestly the deal they'd rejected was exactly what would have made it competitive with the car at CarMax.
During naptime (when we went to retrieve Chaya from her "nap" she was sitting on a little Chaya chair that she'd perched atop her giant bean bag - and was proclaiming herself queen with some strident grandiosity - so that was a restful nap I'm sure), Andrew went back to CarMax and drove the analogous Accord there. He decided that one wasn't as nice as the one we'd driven that morning. But the price... It still seemed higher in the running. Maybe. But then got tipped off to a no-haggle (YES!!! you get me, millennial car dealership - they even had a spot on their site to purchase a car online) in Seattle. And they had a nicer car for the same general price.
So after Chaya ascended from her throne, off we went to Seattle Honda. It was a rad place hiding in South Seattle. Kind of like a giant car garage with a major reception hall.
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| Chaya is going into outerspace on her spinning char |
I mean... getting to a point of buying. Apparently buying a car must always be exhausting and involved been if you aren't haggling.
Note Chaya's wearing underwear. Which seems normal until you remember she does not use public facilities and we were there a LOOOOOONG bladder bursting time. We're doing pretty good on going in the house, but she hates public toilets like CRAZY. I almost coaxed her into one when the pee dance started to get elaborate. Even held her to the toilet seat and she was entertained. Of course it was an automatic flush toilet and i'd come unprepared to block off its little eye with some paper. Of course it flushed on her and we ran in terror from the bathroom. So... we had diapers in my bag. Desperate times and measure. She jumped on a couch in the show room and tore off her underwear waiting for her change. The salespeople were mostly too busy to enjoy little Lindsay Lohan getting down in the reception area. Ah well.
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| When you realize they set up the giant tend in the show room for customers to sleep in while the purchase is finalized... |
I'm not entirely sure how we ended up being there for 4 hours. But we did. It seemed like we were about fifteen minutes from done for a good two hours. My favorite part was when we'd finished all the financial paperwork and were ready to go and our (very charming) salesguy said "ok, we're just working on finding your car then." This is not a good sign, by the way. Apparently my new Accord is exceptionally good at playing hide and seek, because it took another half hour to locate it. But awww it was so pretty when it arrived. Eventually.
Having had neither food (other than a few vending machine granola bars) nor a particularly stellar nap as we tore through dinner and bedtime, Chaya could have gone supernova. There were hints. But largely she was wildly pumped. She LOVED the new car. She LOVED the tent in the showroom. She LOVED the chairs that sent her to outer space. We're in the milky way Daddy!!! (Daddy donning his adorable teacher-dad voice to explain that yes, yes, we all are in the Milky Way)
To her the place was a pretty awesome playground that got her out of bedtime.
And of course, she corrupted another little kid.
Her parents were not big fans of us and our boisterous little screaming child, the heloit who had coopted their sweet princess into full rabidity, but it was late and some things can't be helped. Like the giant headache their SCREAMS gave half the people in the show room.
They ran some laps, played balloons, Started shrieking and running around the giant tent in the show room. Yelling DAAAAAAAADDY to their respective fathers. Pushing the tent to its very limits.
Somehow, we finalized the paperwork. and made it home in time to get Chaya fed and to bed... bedroom anyways. She was so pumped, I doubt she turned off the flashlight she'd found and proclaimed to be "A STAR IN MY HAND". So today should be fun.
What you think I was gonna post a picture of the car?
Maybe later. It's mine. It's parked. It's sleeping. Let it rest.
And that's just the beginning.
This year gonna be big.
We got trips. One of the biggest revelations of 2019 was just how essential traveling on my terms can be. Breaks from mom-duty. Plopping down with old friends across the country. We're making almost all our trips count double with me sneaking away to get in my visits.
And of course...
New house on the list. Somewhere.
Kindergarten on the list. Somewhere. The house and the kindergarten gotta line up while hopefully Chaya's aversion to public restrooms diminishes.
And man I guess I'd might have to figure out what I wanna d with myself when I grow up
I'm thinking maybe a modern art forger (I'm pretty sure I can't imitate a Renoir, but I definitely can duct tape a banana to a wall... fairly sure)
2020, if we don't plunge into some kind of Apocalyptic scenario (that damnit I hope has gold dinosaurs with lasers if we do), we're ready for ya.
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