We may at that. Summer is clamoring at the door, with the giant Ski to Sea kick off coming up this weekend.
Andrew will not be cycling this year, but he's still captaining a team and providing full mascotry for Team Dadbod yet again.
After that, well, it's June. Bring it on! Trips. Preschool reshuffling (up to 3 days a week and starting at 8 a.m. ack!) Family visits. Birthday parties.
In the meantime, Chaya's best friend (I think - honestly now that she's at preschool, her social life is far more her own business and less mine, but they are always so happy to see each other) Sebastian is off to Mexico for the summer.
They plan to eventually move there, but this is "just" a four month visit this time. Claudia is probably doing it wrong by leaving during the warmest part of the year and returning once it gets nice and wet and cold. But she has citizenship hoops to jump through in fall.
This isn't the only original baby play date Exodus: her buddy Alex (and as importantly our family friends Jen and Joe... and their daughter Olivia too) will be moving to Virginia Beach in summer. It's a good thing for them: Joe is getting a job with tenure.** You can't really find fault with that. But it's definitely the end of an era.
** edit, everything I said about Joe and Jen's future contains middling accuracy, but rest assured they are moving somewhere better for a better job.
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| 2nd year birthday bashes! |
I guess you could say we had a final hoorah picnic in the Park with all the kids the other day, but we can at least hope it isn't the final-final. There will be trips and visits somehow. We'll coordinate. We shall.
. In most ways, Chaya doesn't seem particularly aware of gender in many regards. She swaps gender pronouns regularly and occasionally announces Daddy or Mommy have anatomical features of the opposite biological sex. But she has reently discovered dresses. She's had dresses before, but never been particularly interested in them. Recently, she demands DRESS every other day or so. She now has plenty, and of course is persnickety and particular about which ones she wants in a given day. Today she demanded her tiger dress instead of pajamas. She's also discovered pigtails. My doing. My hair is an annoying in between length so I've been pulling it out of my face with pigtails. Chaya was fascinated and then wanted her own. She holds them like little horns and insists on wearing them to bed.
So, we might not get away with pixie-cuts for much longer. Which is unfortunate because it's still impossible to groom the little dervish and she still likes rubbing food and snot in her hair. We'll figure it out. Messy pretty monster chic?
And...
It's been a while since we checked in on the Adella-"health" updates.I'm still not dead yet, but I'm awfully crumbly.
The reflux abides. It got a little better when I changed to a lower dose birth control from straight out HRT, but worse again after I got one of my daughter's baby plagues. Per my ENT's order, I also had a "barium swallow" test (very fun and the first fizzy drink that I've been able to have in a while... yeah it tasted like chalk, but the burping feeling was amazing). They're a full on medical kiddie-ride: you drink something thick and fizzy, and then get X-rayed as the liquid (and your tilt table) goes down.
Me, during the test: glug glug WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BURP
Amusing, but it didn't find any mechanical issues.
My new GI refreshingly supported my hesitancy to take PPIs (e.g. prilosec, nexium, etc). She told me to continue my restricted low-aid diet (I miss you, Mexican food and Indian food), to take zantac, and that we'd do an endoscopy to see what's going on.
Unfortunately my insurance company is less supportive. In order for them to pay for an endoscopy, I need to have taken PPIs for at least 3 months. Meaning, I have to start taking something immediately and call again in three months, then wait another month or two (from what I understand of the scheduling calendar). And that's for a test that may or may not reveal much.
My new GI refreshingly supported my hesitancy to take PPIs (e.g. prilosec, nexium, etc). She told me to continue my restricted low-aid diet (I miss you, Mexican food and Indian food), to take zantac, and that we'd do an endoscopy to see what's going on.
Unfortunately my insurance company is less supportive. In order for them to pay for an endoscopy, I need to have taken PPIs for at least 3 months. Meaning, I have to start taking something immediately and call again in three months, then wait another month or two (from what I understand of the scheduling calendar). And that's for a test that may or may not reveal much.
I'm told the really definitive test is another one that you only qualify for after the endoscopy. But oh well. Break out the prilosec or whatever and more vitamin supplements for my pill container!
Meanwhile, my back two left molars have been turned into mush over the last 6 months. My dentist was quite concerned but felt reassured that I was getting medical help for the reflux. So more dental work of course and a prescription toothpaste! Disconcerting, but a time to be glad I have good dental and health insurance I suppose.
Meanwhile, my back two left molars have been turned into mush over the last 6 months. My dentist was quite concerned but felt reassured that I was getting medical help for the reflux. So more dental work of course and a prescription toothpaste! Disconcerting, but a time to be glad I have good dental and health insurance I suppose.
I've also been seeing a massage therapist once a week and that is amazing. She is a very intense person with a dedication to figuring out WTF is going on with me. And she's one of very few health practitioners who an really look at my whole body. She's working on my arms, pectorals, back and... well I'm icing a lot. The sheer volume weird areas that are nothing but nasty knots is impressive. My sheer knottiness and general physical wonk concerns her deeply and she will never sleep again until I am slightly more functional. This is refreshing in a world of pleasant shrugging doctors.
Meanwhile, my orthopedist saw a bad looking disc and an atypical level of arthritis in my spine. He didn't explain much and instead wanted to send me for a steroid injection. I decided I wanted to slow it down and find out more first, since my whole body seems to be feeling effects (wrists, spasms in my legs, occasional lost sensation). I'm going to quiz him more thoroughly at an upcoming appointment.
Because why not, I also consulted with a chiropractor who turned out to be out of network on my insurance coverage.
Whoops. That's $500 I'm never gonna see again.
She recommended three weekly adjustments for the conceivable future to address an ill-aligned lumbar vertebrae (pesky number 5 is VERY off). It was not highly inspiring that their lending library was almost entirely full of books about the evils of vaccines; nor was I thrilled to see they had some kind of note about how since they followed all these alternative wellness practices, they had great immune systems, so come on in to their clinic even if you're sick.
More off-putting was the potential cost of an out of network series of adjustments. I"m not averse to finding a chiropractor in my network if that's safe, but I cannot pay out of pocket for that. We've already eaten up our HSA savings this year.
I am guessing my next steps are finding out more from the ortho about whom to consult for my legs and wrists/arms. If I can get a greater sense of all the moving (clunkily moving if not so happily) parts, I think I could have a more fruitful PT relationship. Part of the problem with PT before was that I was inevitably stymied from doing at least several of the exercises by other injuries or the reflux.
Lord know. And maybe a different orthopedic specialist or sports medicine/rehab professional will add something to the mix. Or maybe the neurologist will have input. Who knows!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I am guessing my next steps are finding out more from the ortho about whom to consult for my legs and wrists/arms. If I can get a greater sense of all the moving (clunkily moving if not so happily) parts, I think I could have a more fruitful PT relationship. Part of the problem with PT before was that I was inevitably stymied from doing at least several of the exercises by other injuries or the reflux.
Lord know. And maybe a different orthopedic specialist or sports medicine/rehab professional will add something to the mix. Or maybe the neurologist will have input. Who knows!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
BURRRRRP
As doth the acid reflux, so doth I abide. With a little bit of highly capitalizable guilt-self-resentment or something about my current invisible illnessish existence. I feel so bad that I can't do all the crazy fun things Chaya keeps demanding I do that i even feel bad about not being able to do things I wouldn't have even done anyways.
I won't call my husband the kind of theory of mind psychological manipulation, but he's inadvertently (or not? Who can say with a savant?) nailed it a few times. Which is to say, I'm in a certain headspace right now where peopel can inadvertently headtrip the heck out of me.
To wit, Andrew's mom is planning a fantasy trek to Japan to hike all around some amazing trails with her and her companions. He really wants to go.
As doth the acid reflux, so doth I abide. With a little bit of highly capitalizable guilt-self-resentment or something about my current invisible illnessish existence. I feel so bad that I can't do all the crazy fun things Chaya keeps demanding I do that i even feel bad about not being able to do things I wouldn't have even done anyways.
I won't call my husband the kind of theory of mind psychological manipulation, but he's inadvertently (or not? Who can say with a savant?) nailed it a few times. Which is to say, I'm in a certain headspace right now where peopel can inadvertently headtrip the heck out of me.
To wit, Andrew's mom is planning a fantasy trek to Japan to hike all around some amazing trails with her and her companions. He really wants to go.
He could have said "hey, darling, I'd like to leave you and our darling daughter for about 10 days while I use up the majority of my remaining vacation days, and 99% of my planning and attention bandwidth go off on a hiking trip in Japan." He could have. I woulda probably shrugged and said "sure, knock yourself out," with a minor sigh, because what am i gonna use that vacation time for at this point anyways.
Instead he said "There's this trip in Japanthat my mom's been planning. Would you be interested in going?"
Instead he said "There's this trip in Japanthat my mom's been planning. Would you be interested in going?"
Knowing that he's even said with no prompting from me that hiking with Chaya.
Knowing that he's unpromptedly concluded that ten plus hour flights are really not doable with our three year old.
Knowing at least theoretically that nobody is able to watch our toddler for 10+ days in a row even if we hadn't already agreed that the five night trip we took last year was "a little much for her."
Knowing - I assume - that I have been having issues with my legs spasming and going numb after walking more than a few minutes at a time.
Knowing I have been dealing with reflux that makes it super hard to feed myself even at home.
Knowing I have really bad back pain that gets worse with sitting (like on several hour flights).
Knowing all that and just going for it anyways.
And thus putting me and or allowed me to put myself in a position where I bent all over myself explaining how this wasn't the right time, that I hoped we could xyz in a few years, and how I'd really like to do a smaller trip with just us... feeling increasingly more guilty and awful that I was - ONCE AGAIN - the wet blanket and the buzzkill...
Until I was just relieved that he said "I figured. Well, I'd like to go."
Simultaneously letting me off the hook, leaving with with some major residual buzzkill guilt and not even directly asking if I would willingly watch our daughter alone for that many days and/or sacrifice our (yes, OUR) vacation time.
All leaving me still vaguely guilty that he will not see his daughter for two weeks AND is nearly out of vacation time to the point that he doesn't have any extra to spare on that other-summer trip to Tahoe with his mom or the Chicago trip to his cousin's wedding where we'll be travelling on my birthday. All because I'm lame. Somehow.
Masterful.
No I don't have time to see a shrink on top of all my other dental and medical appointments, why do you ask??
At any rate, we're all in as many pieces as is practical and buckling our seatbelts for our second Mount Vernon Summer. Start your engines (and plug in that darned air conditioner hose already!!!)
Knowing all that and just going for it anyways.
And thus putting me and or allowed me to put myself in a position where I bent all over myself explaining how this wasn't the right time, that I hoped we could xyz in a few years, and how I'd really like to do a smaller trip with just us... feeling increasingly more guilty and awful that I was - ONCE AGAIN - the wet blanket and the buzzkill...
Until I was just relieved that he said "I figured. Well, I'd like to go."
Simultaneously letting me off the hook, leaving with with some major residual buzzkill guilt and not even directly asking if I would willingly watch our daughter alone for that many days and/or sacrifice our (yes, OUR) vacation time.
All leaving me still vaguely guilty that he will not see his daughter for two weeks AND is nearly out of vacation time to the point that he doesn't have any extra to spare on that other-summer trip to Tahoe with his mom or the Chicago trip to his cousin's wedding where we'll be travelling on my birthday. All because I'm lame. Somehow.
Masterful.
No I don't have time to see a shrink on top of all my other dental and medical appointments, why do you ask??
At any rate, we're all in as many pieces as is practical and buckling our seatbelts for our second Mount Vernon Summer. Start your engines (and plug in that darned air conditioner hose already!!!)
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