Lunch out with a toddler - a short (especially by my standards) photo essay how-to.

Begin with several hours of lead time. Pack a t-shirt (bib), a toddler bowl, a toddler spoon, a sippie cup. None of these things will be needed. If you don't have them, they will be required.

Arrive at the restaurant after struggling to restrain toddler from diving into traffic and climbing into an opened car. Locate a booth. Request a high chair. Read the menu together (if by read, you mean throw it under the table while yelling BOOK)

Briefly let toddler move from the booth to the high chair. She requested. Offer a larabar after she demands something. Take several laps around the restaurant with a toddler waiving an uneaten larabar like a spear. Sustain a few tantrums about not being allowed back into the kitchen. Load toddler back into the booth. 

Play interference while toddler stands up over the edge of the booth and scream "BALL" at the quarter machine. Toddler attempts to offer your fork to various children coming up for quarter loot (by the way nothing costs a quarter anymore).

Toddler ignores the food you've cut up for her, preferring to pilfer waffle fries from Gramma Pam. 

Toddler takes a bite of eat one, pass the rest to Paaaaaam or Mamma. Repeat for several rounds.

Repeatedly. 

Toddler rejects ketchup. Mindlessly munch toddler's lunch. Cover the food with a napkin to stop yourself from continuing until you want to throw up.

Toddler finally finishes biting all the waffle fries and re-bites the bitten ones. Eventually accepts bites of gardenburger from a fork.

Toddler finally attempts a bite of the hamburger bun. Yells BREAD and eats half a bun. Explors under the table.

Daddy excitedly offers some brownie sundae to toddler who is uninterested and preferring to eat a fork. Toddler pushes away offers of ice cream. Yells BREAD again. Dives under the table.

Take another several tours of the restaurant. Toddler howls bloody murder upon being placed in the carseat. Crashes almost immediately upon getting into the bedroom having skipped the usual dalliances with the bathroom and running around the nursery chair.

Ta-da!!