Coming up: Retribution is nigh! And it doesn't necessarily make a lot of sense (thank goodness). Adella lets her wings come out to play after years of tying them down. Will she survive the day between ghouls and goblins and - worse - legal documents!?! Little Sammy G-3 gets a new flak jacket. Are its days numbered before it finds itself looking quite stylish at the bottom of a koi pond? Mr. (W)right survives the frozen finger due to extenuating holiday circumstances. Will he survive a bop of the the toilet-scrubber wand to the head?? Trick or Treating at the old biohazard. Will the trick or treaters make it through? Will candy be consumed? Will tricks outweigh the treats???
Read on to find out.
All Hallow's Awesome:
I'm not saying I'm prepared for Halloween exactly, but I am gearing up for a candy quest tomorrow and will be putting finishing touches on the amorphous blob of "costume concept" that I've induced after much laboring. And I've already started the Halloween movie-binge, so I'm getting into the spirit quite handily, thanks much.
Channeling an early date-night mood, Andrew and I finished our Resident Evil movie marathon last night. If you have not seen Retribution, well... leave work immediately and go find it. To temper my recommendation, to benefit from the above advice, you should probably (1) enjoy the previous installments, (2) but find them slightly too plot driven and too lacking in cameos of various clone and mind-controlled characters from prior installments (3) and/or wish for a few more totally surreal sequences stacked atop each other in a precarious tower of Milla Jovawesomeness (all cemented together with about ten minutes of randomly plodding exposition about thirty minutes into the film).
This is a film that knows what it is and what it likes and won't make apologies about its excesses, And - as Andrew put it - can't be bothered to merely jump the shark when it can pull a triple backflip with fireworks and rocket blast the zombie shark to the moon. The result is an exquisite sharksplosion.
Incidentally, I find it absolutely necessary for Resident Evil to do a cross-over movie with the Fast and Furious franchise. First off, Michelle Rodriguez! Second, you know you can already write the scenes in your head between Vin Diesel, The Rock, and Milla. Third, the chase scenes! I mean, just imagine the chase scenes! Zombies in tanks! Tricked out umbrella technology vehicles! I think both series could really elevate themselves from the experience. Make it so gods of Hollywood.
Speaking of horrors, after two weeks of riding the orange barracuda, I may not quite be ready for riding stallions on beaches, but I am ready for a simplify-your-HRT couple of weeks. It's fun getting to cycle your prescriptions, because then you get to catalog which side effects go with which. Or speculate wildly, because there are are inevitably always circumstantial factors to complicate a pure analysis. Nonetheless, I think I can safely say that the reeling sodden sensation I was getting twenty minutes after taking those little rays of supernova are definitely related to the progesterone category.
And well, the other side effects - the impatience, the maudlin spells, and the fatigue and so on - not going to say it, but I might just be kind of a nutter who can't blame little tablets for her scintillating mien.
Duck (duck goose) she's got herself a throwin' phone!!
That's right, my fey little Samsung Galaxy got itself a happening new flak jacket to withstand the abusive abrasions that run attendant to being my phone. So far no scuba suit to protect against accidental drownings, so I suspect death by toilet water will be my next telephone whoopsie (especially since I've yet to drop my phone in a toilet, glass of whiskey, or any body of water for that matter, despite several close calls). Until that watery end, I can commence the droid tossing with confidence that this one might last a little longer than the previous baby.
It won't have to last much longer, since I was heading towards an upgrade eventually anyways. I think. Lord knows. I stopped paying attention years ago. As long as I can break my phone and get it replaced, my desire for frequent upgrades has waned considerably. Not that there won't be some absolutely amazing must have new model out in a year, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it... Unless the bridge is - like much of our nation's infrastructure - structurally unsound; in this case, we may sidestep the bridge and look at the crossing via google maps. I'll cross the Skagit Bridge that just got rebuilt. That's probably one of the safer bridges around these days. But I'm not sure I need to go to Mt. Vernon - metaphorically or otherwise - on the occasion of my upgrade eligibility. Well, I've beaten that to death! Just call me the proseicidal maniac. I will kill all your words!! (Embodying the true spirit of Halloween with phraseologic butchery of epic proportions!)
In other news: Resident Evil: Retribution has a commentary track with Milla Jovovich. If you ever have the opportunity to watch any movie with a Milla Jovovich commentary turned on, do so. I don't care if it's the first Resident Evil movie (brilliantly balanced between Milla and Michelle Rodriguez who may or may not be getting totally wasted while watching) or Dr. Zhivago (this should exist), it will be worth your time. Some people are not fans of he commentary "with her dogs" on Ultraviolet. I can't say that I've actually heard this one, although I think I'll have to track it down. But I'll just go out on a limb here and speculate that those detractors are joyless succubi.
I think the above paragraph implies well-enough what I did with my evening last night. Andrew forestalled my commentary obsessions by going out on an evening ride, but he won't escape indefinitely. Commentary tracks are one of very limited reasons I bother buying dvds these days. Needless to say, there will be a commentary marathon soon!
Anyways, happy hump day and All Hallow's Eve EVE (or Adam har har)
There is Nothing Spookier than Our Work Anyways -
Happy HOWLOWEEEEEN!
This morning, Mr. (W)right took a wee bit longer to rouse than usual. That reluctance to stir was appropriate to the holiday (when he grunts and hides under the covers, it's like he's playing sleepy undead creature!) and somewhat propitious, since I had quite the ordeal sorting out the bedding goulash he'd concocted sometime during the evening. I suspect he has untapped telekinetic powers, as I just can't imagine any other explanation for the linen origami he creates some evenings.
But yes, often after the sheet and quilt sorting, Mr. (W)right knows he's in for the final sting of gelid hands on a hard body (usually his). Perhaps by instinct, or perhaps merely fortune, he was spared today. Halloween giveth more than it taketh away. Perhaps it says something about our marriage that as he blinked his baby-browns into some state of function, and took in his loving wife endued in fairy wings, several sparkly head bands over a shiny pink headscarf, lots of jewelry, sparkly tights, and bathrobe, while holding a sparkly toilet bowl cleaner and doffing doodled dishwashing gloves, his only comment was "you're wearing dishwashing gloves?" I swear, I do dishes occasionally.
Costume? Nah, that's how I always dress. But if anyone asks, I'm a Fairy Housewife this year. I figure now that I - the epitomal fairy princess - have coasted into the infinite bliss of Happily Ever Comfortably Old Married Lady, it was really mostly just truth in advertising. Not my finest costuming effort, since these tend to take a good month of preparation and I couldn't quite justify that level of effort without some actual plans to be in public at some point during the day. My favorite costumes remain Gem of Gem and the Holograms, the girl from Labyrinth, and Rainbow Brite. But I get to wear sparkly things and be comfortable, so it kind of works.
As is appropriate to such a spooky day, we'll be spending all day on trial preparations - one of the zombie cases undead from its pummelling in summer. Given the facts of the case, it's an appropriately spooky way to spend the day. Speaking of our whacked out practice, we have now provided one process server's "weirdest experience." Process servers are the professionals hired to serve papers on people who may not want to be served. Needless to say they see a lot of weird stuff, and are rarely given a hero's welcome on their journeys. So, it's kind of saying something to get a superlative on weirdness. For the record, the weirdness came from the other party, not our client (phew!). To the best of our knowledge, every one survived the experience (we think) and the property damage wasn't catastrophic.
Wheeeee!
Adios #socktober - A Halloween Ta-ta (Not the tatas that you can 'save').
The souls of our ancestors having been placated with nestle crunches, I am assured that we can all blissfully skip and skurry from early fall to the very precipice of *The Holiday Season!!!* AAAAAAAAAGH - the scariest part of Halloween is when it's over and every trace of it is replaced with Christmas and Valentine's overload (Don't get me started on that commercial inanity that is Veteran's Day - no, no don't throw things at me, that was intended to be tongue in cheek I didn't ... I do support our veterans, I'm not anti-american, I will eat your friggin' freedom fries even if they do make my stomach angry!!)
But before that heady free fall into the gaping maw of holiday spirit (ho ho hooooo boy!), a look back at one of my favorite holidays. I am sure I've gone on at length in the past about my affinity for Halloween. Given my moony mien and whimsical morbidity, the appeal seems rather obvious: a day where we are sanctioned to dress up and make-believe while delving into our deepest fears and depravities. A tango with our darker selves glittering in cheap diamonds. I know it's come a long way (baby) from the holiday/holidays from which it evolved, but there is a primal theme that underlies it still.
As promised, I was a Fairy Housewife all day and evening yesterday, which of course is not too far off. Honestly, except for the fact that the wings could be a little more comfortable, I'm pretty sure this is how I would dress myself normally given the option: workout clothes (I swifty swapped my baggy shirt for a sports bra after the heating in the office proved to be hearty and hale yesterday), a robe, and shiny things! As always, I am willing to do a lot of work to fit my own fancy. Case in point: I decorated the office within an inch of its undead life, threw on the Halloween tunes, threw out some candy and then... well worked. No events were planned, no parties or guests materialized. It was just a nice pleasant day with atmospheric music and pretty lights.
The main event was in the evening: fielding trick or treaters. My mom lives in a suburband neighborhood where I think owning one or two little cute ones is part of the covenant. Her house gets exponentially more traffic than most any other neighborhood in town. Except the business districts, which are totally cutting into our trick or treating business. We only went through one large bulk bag of candy last night! That would account for around 150 trick or treaters, which is still a lot, but five years ago, we got twice that amount. These days there is always an obscene plethora of leftover candy, since we still prepare for the halcyon rush of little costumed creatures.
Kind of sad, although I understand the lure of the downtown model. For me, trick or treating was a chance to visit every single one of my neighbors, to show off my costume to them and oh and aaah and their decorations (I lived in a similarly nice neighborhood so people were quite creative). The candy was less about sugar rushes and shiny packages than about tokens of where we had been. Getting the biggest bag of candy meant having walked the widest area and targeted the best houses. It was a mix of block party and scavenger hunt in costume. Hell, our Pink Triangle Society (SJC, lacking actual diversity made do with an all straight PTS except for a few bi-curious people but that's beside the point) made it a game to go trick or treating to get candy stores for our parties.
I don't really exude a neighborly vibe, I know. I don't know any of my current neighbors, and when I lived at the Rosemont Co-op, I rarely participated in the cooperative spirit. But I always liked that spirit of mass reverie and a chance to really connect with my neighbors (or somebody else's if that's where my friends wanted to go). And I've enjoyed being on the other side of that - greeting kids and their parents with our house ablaze in ghoulishness and a costume of my own. I hope that trick or treating continues in this area despite the move away from it.
Anyways, the trick or treaters were universally adorable. Most of them were even polite and only the really little ones tried to steal the candy ... candy pot actually (apparently we got rid of the large candy bowl, so I thought it went well with my costume to put our Halloween candy in a kitchen pot). I, in turn, didn't try to steal any of the absurdly adorable children. I am SO well behaved!
David scored on the decorative spirit by putting up hazard tape on sawhorses (technically to keep children from walking on the slippery side of the stairs, but in effect it just made a super awesome atmospheric note). We added our glowing bear, which one teeny little bee fairy girl wanted to pat, hug, and take home with her. Nobody slipped, and every one thought our house - and my costume - were pretty cool. Plus there were no riots related to running out of candy prematurely, so I'd call it a big win. This year, I'm hoping to remember to take the surplus bags of candy out of my trunk before summer hits and they melt into one big chocolatey stew. We'll see, we'll see.
Ok, ok, I'll scrub off the sparkle spray in time and leave the bangles at home. But I think we all know that I was far less in costume yesterday than I usually am at the office. Happy November every one! Let the cranberry sauce rain down upon like manna from on high!!
It won't have to last much longer, since I was heading towards an upgrade eventually anyways. I think. Lord knows. I stopped paying attention years ago. As long as I can break my phone and get it replaced, my desire for frequent upgrades has waned considerably. Not that there won't be some absolutely amazing must have new model out in a year, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it... Unless the bridge is - like much of our nation's infrastructure - structurally unsound; in this case, we may sidestep the bridge and look at the crossing via google maps. I'll cross the Skagit Bridge that just got rebuilt. That's probably one of the safer bridges around these days. But I'm not sure I need to go to Mt. Vernon - metaphorically or otherwise - on the occasion of my upgrade eligibility. Well, I've beaten that to death! Just call me the proseicidal maniac. I will kill all your words!! (Embodying the true spirit of Halloween with phraseologic butchery of epic proportions!)
In other news: Resident Evil: Retribution has a commentary track with Milla Jovovich. If you ever have the opportunity to watch any movie with a Milla Jovovich commentary turned on, do so. I don't care if it's the first Resident Evil movie (brilliantly balanced between Milla and Michelle Rodriguez who may or may not be getting totally wasted while watching) or Dr. Zhivago (this should exist), it will be worth your time. Some people are not fans of he commentary "with her dogs" on Ultraviolet. I can't say that I've actually heard this one, although I think I'll have to track it down. But I'll just go out on a limb here and speculate that those detractors are joyless succubi.
I think the above paragraph implies well-enough what I did with my evening last night. Andrew forestalled my commentary obsessions by going out on an evening ride, but he won't escape indefinitely. Commentary tracks are one of very limited reasons I bother buying dvds these days. Needless to say, there will be a commentary marathon soon!
Anyways, happy hump day and All Hallow's Eve EVE (or Adam har har)
There is Nothing Spookier than Our Work Anyways -
Happy HOWLOWEEEEEN!
This morning, Mr. (W)right took a wee bit longer to rouse than usual. That reluctance to stir was appropriate to the holiday (when he grunts and hides under the covers, it's like he's playing sleepy undead creature!) and somewhat propitious, since I had quite the ordeal sorting out the bedding goulash he'd concocted sometime during the evening. I suspect he has untapped telekinetic powers, as I just can't imagine any other explanation for the linen origami he creates some evenings.
But yes, often after the sheet and quilt sorting, Mr. (W)right knows he's in for the final sting of gelid hands on a hard body (usually his). Perhaps by instinct, or perhaps merely fortune, he was spared today. Halloween giveth more than it taketh away. Perhaps it says something about our marriage that as he blinked his baby-browns into some state of function, and took in his loving wife endued in fairy wings, several sparkly head bands over a shiny pink headscarf, lots of jewelry, sparkly tights, and bathrobe, while holding a sparkly toilet bowl cleaner and doffing doodled dishwashing gloves, his only comment was "you're wearing dishwashing gloves?" I swear, I do dishes occasionally.
Costume? Nah, that's how I always dress. But if anyone asks, I'm a Fairy Housewife this year. I figure now that I - the epitomal fairy princess - have coasted into the infinite bliss of Happily Ever Comfortably Old Married Lady, it was really mostly just truth in advertising. Not my finest costuming effort, since these tend to take a good month of preparation and I couldn't quite justify that level of effort without some actual plans to be in public at some point during the day. My favorite costumes remain Gem of Gem and the Holograms, the girl from Labyrinth, and Rainbow Brite. But I get to wear sparkly things and be comfortable, so it kind of works.
As is appropriate to such a spooky day, we'll be spending all day on trial preparations - one of the zombie cases undead from its pummelling in summer. Given the facts of the case, it's an appropriately spooky way to spend the day. Speaking of our whacked out practice, we have now provided one process server's "weirdest experience." Process servers are the professionals hired to serve papers on people who may not want to be served. Needless to say they see a lot of weird stuff, and are rarely given a hero's welcome on their journeys. So, it's kind of saying something to get a superlative on weirdness. For the record, the weirdness came from the other party, not our client (phew!). To the best of our knowledge, every one survived the experience (we think) and the property damage wasn't catastrophic.
Wheeeee!
Adios #socktober - A Halloween Ta-ta (Not the tatas that you can 'save').
The souls of our ancestors having been placated with nestle crunches, I am assured that we can all blissfully skip and skurry from early fall to the very precipice of *The Holiday Season!!!* AAAAAAAAAGH - the scariest part of Halloween is when it's over and every trace of it is replaced with Christmas and Valentine's overload (Don't get me started on that commercial inanity that is Veteran's Day - no, no don't throw things at me, that was intended to be tongue in cheek I didn't ... I do support our veterans, I'm not anti-american, I will eat your friggin' freedom fries even if they do make my stomach angry!!)
But before that heady free fall into the gaping maw of holiday spirit (ho ho hooooo boy!), a look back at one of my favorite holidays. I am sure I've gone on at length in the past about my affinity for Halloween. Given my moony mien and whimsical morbidity, the appeal seems rather obvious: a day where we are sanctioned to dress up and make-believe while delving into our deepest fears and depravities. A tango with our darker selves glittering in cheap diamonds. I know it's come a long way (baby) from the holiday/holidays from which it evolved, but there is a primal theme that underlies it still.
As promised, I was a Fairy Housewife all day and evening yesterday, which of course is not too far off. Honestly, except for the fact that the wings could be a little more comfortable, I'm pretty sure this is how I would dress myself normally given the option: workout clothes (I swifty swapped my baggy shirt for a sports bra after the heating in the office proved to be hearty and hale yesterday), a robe, and shiny things! As always, I am willing to do a lot of work to fit my own fancy. Case in point: I decorated the office within an inch of its undead life, threw on the Halloween tunes, threw out some candy and then... well worked. No events were planned, no parties or guests materialized. It was just a nice pleasant day with atmospheric music and pretty lights.
The main event was in the evening: fielding trick or treaters. My mom lives in a suburband neighborhood where I think owning one or two little cute ones is part of the covenant. Her house gets exponentially more traffic than most any other neighborhood in town. Except the business districts, which are totally cutting into our trick or treating business. We only went through one large bulk bag of candy last night! That would account for around 150 trick or treaters, which is still a lot, but five years ago, we got twice that amount. These days there is always an obscene plethora of leftover candy, since we still prepare for the halcyon rush of little costumed creatures.
Kind of sad, although I understand the lure of the downtown model. For me, trick or treating was a chance to visit every single one of my neighbors, to show off my costume to them and oh and aaah and their decorations (I lived in a similarly nice neighborhood so people were quite creative). The candy was less about sugar rushes and shiny packages than about tokens of where we had been. Getting the biggest bag of candy meant having walked the widest area and targeted the best houses. It was a mix of block party and scavenger hunt in costume. Hell, our Pink Triangle Society (SJC, lacking actual diversity made do with an all straight PTS except for a few bi-curious people but that's beside the point) made it a game to go trick or treating to get candy stores for our parties.
I don't really exude a neighborly vibe, I know. I don't know any of my current neighbors, and when I lived at the Rosemont Co-op, I rarely participated in the cooperative spirit. But I always liked that spirit of mass reverie and a chance to really connect with my neighbors (or somebody else's if that's where my friends wanted to go). And I've enjoyed being on the other side of that - greeting kids and their parents with our house ablaze in ghoulishness and a costume of my own. I hope that trick or treating continues in this area despite the move away from it.
Anyways, the trick or treaters were universally adorable. Most of them were even polite and only the really little ones tried to steal the candy ... candy pot actually (apparently we got rid of the large candy bowl, so I thought it went well with my costume to put our Halloween candy in a kitchen pot). I, in turn, didn't try to steal any of the absurdly adorable children. I am SO well behaved!
David scored on the decorative spirit by putting up hazard tape on sawhorses (technically to keep children from walking on the slippery side of the stairs, but in effect it just made a super awesome atmospheric note). We added our glowing bear, which one teeny little bee fairy girl wanted to pat, hug, and take home with her. Nobody slipped, and every one thought our house - and my costume - were pretty cool. Plus there were no riots related to running out of candy prematurely, so I'd call it a big win. This year, I'm hoping to remember to take the surplus bags of candy out of my trunk before summer hits and they melt into one big chocolatey stew. We'll see, we'll see.
Ok, ok, I'll scrub off the sparkle spray in time and leave the bangles at home. But I think we all know that I was far less in costume yesterday than I usually am at the office. Happy November every one! Let the cranberry sauce rain down upon like manna from on high!!
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