Coming Up: Duathlon Remixed and Up the Side of a Mountain? Does Adella have a fatal disease? Or is she merely at Chrysalis in her evolution into she-hulk? Will Andrew fall off a mountain? Will Adella's carefully laid plans for mourning and remarriage fall into place or will her imminent death and hulkdom interfere with Andrew's imminent flight? Or will it simply be Adella's poor, sad little phone be left behind in a state of blue-green glitchy limbo while the (W)rights abscond with their babyless bread to Portugal??
Read on to find out...
Socktober 11th Breakfast of Champions
I told you I was eating a lot. Look at all the food I'm having for breakfast. One of those plates and two of the Tupperwares are not for Andrew at all! I'm just that committed to fattening myself up for Christmas. And no you can't see it, but that is a candy necklace in the little peridot Tupperware container, and I do expect my boyfrianceband to wear it while he's "in the shop" today, where he'll be welding and drilling implausibly gigantic things to other implausibly gigantic things.
I believe the candy necklace will give him luck during his territorial scrapes (there is limited space in the EI shop) with the engineers who have invaded his base weldment tilt shaft screw area. One of today's foes is one of EI's very few female engineers (no, I refuse to use the terms "woman [noun indicating profession]" since it bothers me on both grammatical and lingering feminist grounds). Just like a woman, ho ho. Leaving her stuff all about. Probably hanging her stockings from the weldments and borrowing the power drill to shave her legs. Or something... In the name of equality, I've encouraged Andrew to beat her up for infringing on his territory just as I would encourage him to beat up any engineer setting up parts in his space. I should so be an employment lawyer! Also, it's good that Andrew, despite being a literally minded guy who sometimes misses my drollity, never follows my more creative career advice.
Speaking of Andrew's work. there's been chit-chat about possibly sending him away on a project installs at some undetermined point in the future. I've heard conflicting information about the duration of these trips. On the one hand, Andrew inquired and discovered it was likely that most people would be sent out for two weeks. On the other, he's been warned to be very clear about boundaries and expectations of returning, as some engineers are sent out to an install and never quite make it home. On the bright side, if the bike and chain stays out there for more than two weeks, the company will fund my travel expenses to come see him. The first candidate for installagoria would be in Portugal sometime in February.I'm sure that there are divorces in Portugal! We'll be fine moving out there for indeterminate times! And I speak like a little French and Spanish, so I'm sure I'm covered.
The second candidate is somewhere in Colorado, which of course is an athlete's wet dream between the cycling and the skiing and whatnot. I think he may never come home from that trip either, but less likely related to anything EI is encouraging.
Strangely enough, my job has yet to try to ship me anywhere, except for that one time we went to the family law midyear conference in Ocean Shores. I'm pretty sure this is an oversight, and perhaps I need to be shipped out to Italy for at least several weeks... for... um... research. Yeah. Definitely research. There's collaborative law all over the country. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times, gotta "network!"
Anyways, this is all very theoretical at this point. And so for the time being, back to business and medically sanctioned binging as usual. I'm pretty sure that my calves have gotten brawnier. My compression running socks are seriously starting to chafe and my silly little running capris keep catching around the widest part of my currently 13.5 inch calves. I have never measured my calves before so I don't know that this number means much, except I still think that's brawnier than before. They did warn me I might build a little more muscle. I guess "they" didn't phrase it quite as a warning as much as encouragement, so perhaps I should say "alerted me to the possibility of..." At this rate, I'm going to have she-hulk legs in no time! I mean, with the gangrene, I've already got some green going on...
Nah, that's just Halloween makeup. Oh man, I say that but I have no costume in mind yet! This will not do!! I've toyed with several ideas before discarding them in favor of my natural cheapness and laziness mixed with an innate perfectionism that only recedes several hours before the actual holiday. Since I really don't celebrate Halloween other than insisting on decorating the office and working in costume, it isn't a huge deal, but somehow I feel like a year wouldn't actually be allowed to carry to term without a great Halloween costume to mark it. Ah well. Still time. A little time. Back to eating my way into a larger sized costume in the hopes of just becoming she-Hulk in time for the 31st.
Weigh-in, weigh-out, the same old voodoo follows me about...
The same old tingling in my feet whenever they're sort of cold, and darling they're sort of cold, weigh-in and weigh out... Weigh out and weigh in, I need not tell you how these weighs begin. When I awaken, I awaken with a stumble. One possibility in view. That possibility of weighing in anew.
Or something.
A peculiar - I say with a twist of irony, but mostly just lemon - reading on the weigh-in today. While it reports a rather hearty gain of 5 pounds from last week (up to 131.8), it also reports a decrease in body fat percentage down to 17.8% from 19%. Now I'm just throwing ideas at the wall here (hey, we've got a cleaning service, it'll be ok), but since I also seem to feel like a walking water bed, I think that perhaps some of this might be water weight? Just a thought. Oh the joy of estrogen (OOOOOOOH Barracuda), and I don't even start the progesterone part of things until next week!
Speaking of, just a little lantern on the special way my brain works: I've been feeling a bit blarg recently. I think it's the hormones (possibly a cocktail of the ones I'm taking mixed with my own internal hormonal influxes, as things kick back on and chug about a touch). It could also be a cold or allergies or the weather. But of course, yesterday I had to think "well, hey maybe it's all been a symptom of something else after all and I've got a fatal disease!!" Just for fun. Of course my natural instincts kicked in at this thought and I wondered what I would do with my conceivable terminal diagnosis. First, I thought that I have enough money saved up and am now on my husband's health insurance, so I'd probably quit my job. Then I thought that I would definitely have to define the terms of my terminal diagnosis. Would I still be fairly mobile? Would there be ameliorative treatments? Would I go downhill quickly? I'd have to research the 6 month and 1 year survival rates, then compare treatment costs against the new health insurance deductibles and HSA accounts and ... well basically I pretty much spent the next forty minutes constructing a mental action plan chart of various terminal contingencies.
By the way, in my mind, this equals fun.
I've confabulated similar sort of action plans when +Andrew Wright has been off on a mountain without contact for a longish period of time. Pretty much have a very detailed action plan of things to address just as soon as he might kick it and/or enter into that irrevocable coma, as well as an anticipated mourning schedule (it will be quite involved, as I love him very deeply). I'm thinking that our landlady would probably let me out of my lease, and I could definitely figure out how to be PR for the husband's estate. Not much to the estate, and mostly student debt... I'd donate his bikes to his old team or something like that. I could go on for tomes.
Anyways, it's turning into a lovely day and I intend to "enjoy" it by laying on the couch and swooshing around with my new aqua-layer and hormonal bitchiness superpowers. They are majestic. If you thought I was randomly silly and intermittently patient before... well, you were right, but the trend continues. Maybe, if I'm really lucky, I'll think about somebody else I really love who might die and have a chance to plan for what happens then! Actually, I've already decided that if my sister and brother-in-law die and I end up as guardian for my nephews, totally buying them these really awesome wooden toys made in Germany and Andrew and I discovered and mostly just want for ourselves. I can't remember what they're called though, so hopefully nobody dies anytime soon.
Booathalon - the Crazy Dudeathlon Rematch on the Mountains -
Because +Andrew Wright has only done moderately crazy things on his bike recently, it's time to up the ante a touch and get his spandex-clad tush bouncing up into some hardcore strange and tough trail blazing. And so today, he's off for a mountain biking edition of the Padden Duathlon. One lap around the lake on foot, one lap around the trails on bike, and one more lap around the lake on foot. More power to him, but I'll be taking it as an excuse for a moderate and pleasant morning walk around the lake, plus an excuse to break out the warm seasonally appropriate clothing (thinking my imaginary fleece onesie with the penguin hood would be about right).
Before we get there though, there will be some metaphorical milling about like grains in a hopper. Eventually I might even go wake the hibernating duathlon-loris from his slumber! But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm having an affair with five a.m. and nobody can understand our love.
I re-checked my official weigh-in this morning. I refuse to officially track weight anymore than once a week, but sometimes a second opinion just confirms there were no weird outliers. Still about 131.5, but my body fat percentage went down a smidgen. So, the water theory holds some water, of course. (As much as I'd like to take credit for being a super achiever and doubling my initial goals, the fact that my nutritionist basically told me I would retain water due to eating more and warned me against getting complacent based on illusory gains, combined with the fact that estrogen tends to cause this to happen on its own anyways, leads me to a more modest contemplation of the situation). But I'm also thinking there may be some muscle gains reflected. I really do swear my calves are champing even more at the average sock and pant leg.
I ruminate thusly (and not literally) to entertain myself with a delectable dribble of egotism in the midst of occasional waves of nausea. This is a new one! I love going through puberty all over again. Although, I also have this certain sensitivity to green tea that sometimes produces a similar effect if I haven't had enough to eat before drinking it. I'm special that way. Or maybe it's just that I am wanting the moments of my life to "follow and order themselves like those of a life remembered." Which is silly. I mean, "you might as well try and catch time by the tail.” That may be it. I do wake up every morning wearing a beret, smoking a pipe and mistaking disenchantment for truth. Yep, nerd points! Insufferable bore unlocked!
But enough about me in the moment, let's talk about me in some other moment. Before we got here, well, it was yesterday. And yesterday was quite nice. Andrew and I dropped by Molly's house, nominally to give her her birthday gift. More just because I rather like seeing her and the family, and I'm working on getting over my internal phobia of "just stopping by." (Of course I cleared the stopping by through text first - I'm no barbarian). The whole family was home; everyone was home for most of the visit anyways, as Molly actually had to leave to secure a birthday present from her stepdad, but she did come back long before Andrew and I could break Emma in any serious way!
Molly and I see each other a bit more frequently, since not only am I her friend, but I'm also her attorney (friendttorney, Trade Marked 2013 Adellacorp) who creates all kinds of excuses to see her. Andrew and Marcus probably hadn't seen each other since the last Blue Moon party and/or our wedding. And he definitely hadn't seen Emma or Dylan, Molly's adorable - in different ways - children. Emma and Dylan were totally digging him. Emma wanted to show him how beautifully she could walk with her little child-walker. She also wanted to show him (and me) her ball, her favorite toy box, her disturbingly wide-eyed stuffed animals, and her ability to clap, sometimes while riding on her walker in a way that necessitated some emergency dive catches. Dylan wanted to abscond with him to play video games. I told Dylan I'd set a playdate for them next Sunday, while I'm at the opera. I'd be jealous that Dylan was more excited about Andrew than me (after all, Dylan is my future second husband after Andrew bikes himself off a mountain during his inevitable midlife crisis a decade or two down the road), but then again I don't really want to play Halo all day.
And with that said, I think it's time to brave the bedroom and stir the beast. He has to get himself mentally steeled for this duathlon nonsense. This is serious business... sort of. Kind of. Just hope he doesn't kill himself prematurely on a mountain as Dylan's still a little young and I'm just not ready for happily ever Halo-ing at this point. Wish us luck!
Socktober 14th - Thank goodness for phone insurance - and other duathloning adventures -
First off, a concerted thanks to goodness and similar qualities that my husband did, in fact, return from his crazy mountain biking duathlon in a single fairly-functioning piece. In fact, he did quite well on all legs (his own and those of the course itself), and is appreciably proud of himself.
It was definitely a smaller affair than the last duathlon. I suspect that the addition of mountain to the biking portion dissuaded the representative throngs of spandexed triathletes who'd been using the road duathlon as a training event. One does not bring time trial bikes on trails like those at Padden. As it was, I saw nary a funny helmet and hardly any superhero costumes. This duathlon seemed more balanced between runners and cyclists. Given how challenging the cycling portion was, I think it probably even favored cyclists despite the fact that 2/3 of the event was running.
Either way, Andrew bested his prior running record for the course and closely trailed his top cycling time. More importantly, he won us some swag. Apparently, he won this delectable loaf of cranberry orange hippy bread (and by "hippy" I mostly mean "made from recognizable and generally accepted as healthy ingredients"), for being the person there with the least children. Since I have contributed to this accomplishment, I feel that the victory is really shared between on this one. It's delicious bread, by the way. I have discovered that it goes quite well with peanut butter, since the bread basically has the fruity sapor of jelly already baked into it.
I also survived the race relatively unscathed. Not always guaranteed at one of these events. Usually, I just turn a shocking shade of periwinkle and lose circulation in various extremities from standing around in cold damp weather for several hours. I definitely had one numb and whitened finger by the end of the event, but otherwise appear to have dressed appropriately enough for the occasion that I emerged with a full set of functioning limbs. And, since the event was at Padden, I got in a walk around the lake to get to and from the start/finish line. Lovely autumnal day out and only a light smattering of mud to bespeckle my warm socks.
While my husband and I fared well, my phone fared less well, taking its own tumbles with gravity and adding a bit of a belly-flop at the end. I was happy to have touchscreen sensitive isotoner gloves with me. They are fantastic. I think touchscreen sensitive gloves are the best argument for kindle apps over books. I can read in very cold weather without the old struggle involved in turning pages with heavy gloves on. Touchscreen sensitive isotoners, however, sadly do not provide the same sensitivity and grip that bare fingers (of the frost-un-bitten variety) provide. I know this because I attempted to take photos while wearing these gloves. It might have even worked, except that it didn't.
Not that I haven't dropped my phone a bajillion times before, but this just landed wrong I guess. At first, the screen was entirely black. After several reboots with the battery going in and out and in and out more often than my cat in full feline ambivalence, I got a semi-functional green screen. This lasted me long enough to wait out the race and inform relevant folks that I would not be accessible. Since then, the screen has blacked out again in portions and the discoloration has evolved into an ombre of green to periwinkle. Quite beautiful. Not entirely functional.
Fortunately a few things ameliorate this little glitch: (1) I have excellent cell phone insurance, and will have a new phone in two days; (2) I have several other devices that handle nearly all of the functions assigned to my phone.
Excellent, mostly; and nearly all.
Apparently, for reasons entirely unknown except that several years ago I think my phone account was attached to my mother's, I am not authorized to speak to the Assurion people about my phone. So yes, after much time squandered on hold and online, I had to go running to mommy. I don't know if she actually kissed anything to make it better, but within a few minutes of asking her to call some number, I got a notice that my phone was coming.
None of my other devices field text messages, which is a little maddening. I don't use text much, but my sister is retro-chic like that, and only communicates via text and facebook image dump. I know that things are afoot, because my phone keeps vibrating at me, but I can't actually see what. So every time I get a text, I then have had to go on chat and ask my mother what I just missed. Yesterday, I was able to see well enough to swype responses, but less so today. So leaving the phone at home, still turned on, because I can't see the portion of the screen that would ok turning it and and I'm too lazy to just pull the battery.
Anyways, it's actually somewhat liberating to be without a phone. Not so much the lack of instant accessibility, although that's a perk. It's more that most of my relationship with my phone involves checking to see if I still have it. I have this ongoing tendency to leave it places and it has the ongoing tendency to be fairly light-weight and hard to locate. I spend many an hour trudging the depths of my purse to confirm it actually left the office with me. The other major component of my relationship with my phone is identifying readily accessible chargers and making sure the battery is souped up for turbo-use. Not being concerned about having my phone and having it charged seems to have freed up hours in my day. I'm making great use of them, I assure you.
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