The final hurdle remains hanging in the air in a poor sword of Damocles imitation involving this coming Friday and an increasing anxiety over the mail box. Dammit, Bar results really will get mailed out after this long phase of denial and deferral! And yes, I am having the requisite flashbacks and anxiety dreams. I would like to request that people defer their "oh I'm sure you passed" and "after next week when you're an attorney" support, because it really does just make me feel more anxious and in my typical attorney way, it is more comforting to me to work on my "if I didn't pass" plan in tandem with my "if I did pass" plan and weight them both equally for the time being in terms of likelihood. Ok, enough of that crap. Bleck. Yes, this paragraph is probably liable for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.
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| Hanging in legal limbo |
BUT, I have my facilitative dispute resolution training more than satisfied and after this weekend also have my actual Collaborative Law training... I'm not sure exactly how much extra I learned on the final training, which may have fared better on the usefulness scale had I been more rutted into the mindset of the "traditional attorney." This was a constant theme - shifting our paradigms, except the paradigm they were assigning to non-collaborative law was simply alien to me. This is not only a result of my other mediation training, but because all of my practical skills classes at UW teach from a client-based/interests-based-negotiations model that is far more akin to the Collaborative Paradigm than the "Litigation Model" that they were touting, in which lawyers are cold, bossy, adversarial, fact-pattern monsters who think they know best and want to duke it out in gladiatorial combat instead of recognizing that emotions play a huge part to an effective resolution of any legal issue.
This gels well with my experience of divorce-as-opportunity. I was a little taken aback when a child specialist attending the training told me and another attorney trainee that (1) all children think divorce is their fault, and (2) that even into adulthood, they wish in some part that their parents would get back together. Maybe I did and am suppressing those feelings, but I'm pretty fucking skeptical. I honestly think divorce was one of the best things that happened to my parents during my life and that I'm not really sure if I'd have a relationship with my father if not for the divorce. Anyways, regardless of all of that, analogizing from break-ups and other major life upheavals, not ending is without a beginning and these tumultuous events often are what give us the impetus we need to make changes we were too afraid to make when it risked losing the status quo.
It's always interesting to wonder - going over the plethora of people skills - why on earth attorneys should be at the center of these facilitative models. Unquestionably, the training for this approach is available in law school, but it is not the dominant set of skills taught (although arguably, the ability to connect with people will be the ultimate gauge of future success far more than most of the learned skills). I have seen the value of involving attorneys in the mediation process, particularly because knowing the law contributes more than you'd imagine to the holy grain of ADR: the durable agreement. I also think that knowledge of the law is extremely helpful in mediation or collaboration as a resource for objective measurements if parties are stymied, for reality testing (they didn't teach this per se, but essentially did under the name of "client education"). And I suppose, not just knowlege of the law, but that ability to foresee all possible snags and contingencies that might make an otherwise great plan deflate. Still, that we are the ones meant to be managing the process, well ok, if any part of the attorney stereotype resonates it's that attorneys are control freaks and we're more than familiar with process, so maybe it works out pretty well.
Incidentally, the pictures above were taken at the site of the training, Hotel Deca, which is gorgeous and surprisingly located in the middle of the U District.
*** Abrupt Transition Please ***
Between and after training, there were my typical Mr. Wright related sundries with-special-guests... his Dad and Uncle who were up from California on a road trip that surely could qualify as a winner at the next Sundance Film Festival should anyone have thought to record it. Andrew's Dad brought us presents - mine being an extra large shirt that reads "Love an Engineer" (which I do, if we accept that "engineer" is more an internal quality than a piece of paper/job description... or maybe he suspects I'm having an affair with one of Andrew's classmates), and Andrew a large silver thing that looks a bit like a trumpet or a horn of some sort and which we postulate may have been one of those huge airhorns they put on semis.My shirt was extra-large so I could wear it both in my "present condition" and any "future conditions that might result from my relationship with his son" (badabing badaboom, I think even if Mr. Wright didn't hear that one out loud, there was a chilled disturbance in the parents-embarrassing-me force, which cracked me up)
It's always interesting to wonder - going over the plethora of people skills - why on earth attorneys should be at the center of these facilitative models. Unquestionably, the training for this approach is available in law school, but it is not the dominant set of skills taught (although arguably, the ability to connect with people will be the ultimate gauge of future success far more than most of the learned skills). I have seen the value of involving attorneys in the mediation process, particularly because knowing the law contributes more than you'd imagine to the holy grain of ADR: the durable agreement. I also think that knowledge of the law is extremely helpful in mediation or collaboration as a resource for objective measurements if parties are stymied, for reality testing (they didn't teach this per se, but essentially did under the name of "client education"). And I suppose, not just knowlege of the law, but that ability to foresee all possible snags and contingencies that might make an otherwise great plan deflate. Still, that we are the ones meant to be managing the process, well ok, if any part of the attorney stereotype resonates it's that attorneys are control freaks and we're more than familiar with process, so maybe it works out pretty well.
Incidentally, the pictures above were taken at the site of the training, Hotel Deca, which is gorgeous and surprisingly located in the middle of the U District.
*** Abrupt Transition Please ***
Between and after training, there were my typical Mr. Wright related sundries with-special-guests... his Dad and Uncle who were up from California on a road trip that surely could qualify as a winner at the next Sundance Film Festival should anyone have thought to record it. Andrew's Dad brought us presents - mine being an extra large shirt that reads "Love an Engineer" (which I do, if we accept that "engineer" is more an internal quality than a piece of paper/job description... or maybe he suspects I'm having an affair with one of Andrew's classmates), and Andrew a large silver thing that looks a bit like a trumpet or a horn of some sort and which we postulate may have been one of those huge airhorns they put on semis.My shirt was extra-large so I could wear it both in my "present condition" and any "future conditions that might result from my relationship with his son" (badabing badaboom, I think even if Mr. Wright didn't hear that one out loud, there was a chilled disturbance in the parents-embarrassing-me force, which cracked me up)
. But seriously, I love Andrew's dad: he's completely adorable. I want to buy some kind of kettle corn or other family-type-comfort food from him.
Naturally, since Andrew had guests, he had to race for them, so we found a cyclocross race that he would not have ordinarily attended out in Tacoma. Of course that it was in Tacoma would sound like an excellent reason he might not have attended, but actually it's just that it's a different group putting it together and they have lots more stupid rules. And more people as it would turn out. And more people meant more crashes. Some fairly spectacular wipe outs, actually. Glad to say that nobody got too badly injured and the rain maintained a steady low of mist instead of all out spectator-hostillity. Andrew's Dad was tickled pink, his uncle was disappointed there weren't more crashes, and I was just glad that I actually had forethought enough to pack some food this time around. Oh yeah and Andrew thought he could have done better, but I'm mostly just happy he's alive.
I think my favorite moment from the race was a little father-son heartwarming that did not originate in the Wright blood lines. Across the way from Andrew's truck there was a dad with his son. As the cyclo-cross motto "what happens in the parking lot stays in the parking lot" pretty much guarantees that few people have the residual modesty to cover themselves while changing, the father drop kit entirely when getting into his shorts. It's something you just kind of get used to diverting your eyes from when it comes up... and hoping that they are not doing this changing right in front of one of the driver's side mirrors as is sometimes the case (objects in the mirror really are larger than they appear?? I'd hope so!). In this case though, the son was acting as voice of modesty and actively trying to block the public view of his father's derriere. He didn't look ashamed, but fully resolute in his duty to protect his father's dignity. I thought it was cute anyhow. Here's a photo of them both fully dressed.
Speaking of children at 'cross races. This child is insane! He was at the begining of the cat 4 men and stayed there.
Naturally, since Andrew had guests, he had to race for them, so we found a cyclocross race that he would not have ordinarily attended out in Tacoma. Of course that it was in Tacoma would sound like an excellent reason he might not have attended, but actually it's just that it's a different group putting it together and they have lots more stupid rules. And more people as it would turn out. And more people meant more crashes. Some fairly spectacular wipe outs, actually. Glad to say that nobody got too badly injured and the rain maintained a steady low of mist instead of all out spectator-hostillity. Andrew's Dad was tickled pink, his uncle was disappointed there weren't more crashes, and I was just glad that I actually had forethought enough to pack some food this time around. Oh yeah and Andrew thought he could have done better, but I'm mostly just happy he's alive.
I think my favorite moment from the race was a little father-son heartwarming that did not originate in the Wright blood lines. Across the way from Andrew's truck there was a dad with his son. As the cyclo-cross motto "what happens in the parking lot stays in the parking lot" pretty much guarantees that few people have the residual modesty to cover themselves while changing, the father drop kit entirely when getting into his shorts. It's something you just kind of get used to diverting your eyes from when it comes up... and hoping that they are not doing this changing right in front of one of the driver's side mirrors as is sometimes the case (objects in the mirror really are larger than they appear?? I'd hope so!). In this case though, the son was acting as voice of modesty and actively trying to block the public view of his father's derriere. He didn't look ashamed, but fully resolute in his duty to protect his father's dignity. I thought it was cute anyhow. Here's a photo of them both fully dressed.
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| not a short adult - that's a kid |
Anyways, all was well and I came home to an excitingly hectic week of two trials and another Continuing Legal Education day (retirement assets and family law!). I probably should stop taking these before being admitted to the bar, since I'm wasting all kinds of credits that could be going to the mandatories. But then again, it's a good distraction and just in case I do pass, it might be good if I'm semi-competent going forward. I am after all, a law school graduate and finally have the damned paper to prove it:
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| That only took uh more months than my math savvy is willing to count |
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